Two years and a birthday

So, it's been exactly two years since we flew 32 hours in four flights halfway around the world with our two new children who didn't speak English and had no idea what was happening to them and somehow trusted us anyway.

We recount anecdotes on occasions like this... like the time on the plane when I was trying to show Tizita that an ice cube melts. (She'd never seen ice before) I held it in my hand and she got bored trying to understand me so she looked out the window for a while. When she turned back, the ice cube was gone and I was happily pointing to the small puddle of water in my hand ("magic!") and she hit me and turned away, wailing, because I'd stolen her precious ice cube and wouldn't give it back. She laughs now and so do I but it was the start of a huge adventure of realizations about things I/we take for granted that a little person from the other side of the earth might understand.

In most ways, they completely blend in now, which I guess is good. I won't get too philosophical here tonight, but there was a definite preciousness to the surreality of those first few weeks together getting to know each other. Six weeks later she was in preschool, and two weeks after that she started putting her hand on her hip and rolling her eyes at me. Welcome to America, where all moms are old farts! :)

Life now is full of, mostly, work. It's not easy being a real estate agent in a crappy economy but so far we are making our way. The cost is in precious little time with the kids... clients will pretty much always have to come first until we get back into a more balanced market. There's a photo below taken by our neighbor yesterday... the first (and perhaps only) day we've spent as a foursome since Christmas break. It's nice to have it candidly documented by a passerby!

Each adoption anniversary requires a written status report about the kids and eight photos each to be sent back to Ethiopia to check on their progress. I haven't taken photos in months so I took the camera out yesterday and today and started snapping. Hope you enjoy.

First though, the all-too-often unsung sweeties of our family, the cats...
Howard lookin' for some love when no one else is around.
Misu and Michael... is it possible for a cat to look any more content?

Tizita's been taking a 'machine sewing' class at school... in kindergarten! For our friend Aurora's first birthday, she and Brad made this very cool turtle beanbag, filled with mung beans. Hard to believe my six year old could make that!

Our friend Aurora over for a visit shortly after her big b'day. The kids love playing with Baby Rora.

Fekadu with his new haircut, Lily's shades and dad's hardhat, succumbing to encouragement to 'vogue'

Tizita's gap-toothed smile

And a close-up of the crookedy tooth making its way into the aforementioned gap. :)

Some neighbors drove by yesterday (a *gorgeous* sunny day) and caught us chilling on our new front porch.

I don't know what was happening here, but Fekadu is clearly in one of his rowdy moods.

He may have been gearing up for my birthday. Here's the lovely angel food cake that Brad and Tizita made, with the 44+1 candle arrangement.

Here's the "special" decoration that Fekadu added to the cake, landing him some serious alone time (note the giant tongue marks on the cake!) Blecch.
Goodwill birthday present #1, the hand carved marble game certain to drive Fekadu crazy because he can't get the marbles out or make them go exactly the way he wants them to. Goodwill birthday present #2, crank up the volume...

Two years...

Two years ago today, we stepped off our Ethiopian Air flight in Addis Ababa, met our driver Mulat and made our way through the crowded streets to Horizon House. Within minutes of collapsing in our room, we were taken to meet our new children for the first time. For the rest of the story, check the posts from April 2007.

No time to elaborate now, but the memory is strong and life is full.

Happy Valentine's Day

Here's our Valentine's gift to you... some new pix of the kids! Hope you all have a lovely long weekend!
xox
nbt&f
- - - - - - -
Fekadu turned three a few weeks ago, here are the highlights:
The birthday invite photo... (who wouldn't want to party with this guy?)
The cake, in his favorite color. (Tizita is learning to read lower case letters, and still doesn't know cursive, so it made my frosting-penmanship a high-pressure event). Some lemon essence in the frosting... yummmm
the rockin' party, itself
Tizita being cute
Fekadu "cloppying" his sister's hat
F cuddling the toy from Gramma
This is just last week, after I let T's hair loose from three weeks of braids and twists. She's got gorgeous soft hair, and when she's old enough to comb and detangle it herself, she'll have lots of fun with it. It's cool to see her with her 'fro but if I don't get it tied up again in puffs or twist soon, I get nervous about the effort it will take to get it back 'under control' :)
Brad is yawning at just the right moment. Cracks me up.
The kids wrestling on the couch... I call this my 'push me pull you' picture. They were bound up like that giggling for a while.
Then they decided just to be goofy
And make faces
This is last week, Fekadu and his love, Lily, riding tricycles outside. Lily is eleven.
They're buds.
Tizita's second front tooth was on the way out... here it is, twisted all the way around backwards :)
And then gone!
Tonight, playing dress up. Fekadu's now practiced "too big" fake smile.
One too big fake smile plus one toothless genuine smile plus some dress up clothes. Nice. :)
Again with the faces!
Have a good day!

Where to begin?

The last few days have been pretty cool from the adoptive parenting perspective. There are so many levels of 'lessons learned' that are impossible to convey to the prospective adoptive parents that I talk to from time to time (and who I know read this blog from time to time). The layers of wonder and depth are pretty fascinating. I don't have much time to write tonight, but I'll fill you in as best I can.

First, the son. Fekadu turned three a couple of weeks ago. He is joyously verbal now and sometimes cannot stop talking a mile a minute with observations, repetitions and statements of fact. He's a total hoot, and a piece of work (usually, the good kind). He also is now fully potty trained, and aside from a battle of wills that happens on occasion, he can really do most things himself. It is the aforementioned battle of wills that has had us locking horns from time to time lately, but after one of the most humbling and unenjoyable days in my nearly two-year history of parenthood last Sunday, I'm back to feeling pretty good about, and Fekadu and I have an understanding -- most days -- that friendly words and behavior are what it expected, regardless of the enormity of his ego. :)

Then there is the eighth wonder of the world, my daughter. A couple of things have me in awe of her at the moment...

First up, her school was offering an after-school 'enrichment' class called Magical Dress Up Hour. The idea is that a group of kids get together and use their imaginations to dress up as whatever they want to be and make up a story to act out for the day. She had been to a birthday party run by the group last summer and had no interest in participating. It looked to me to be basically a bunch of girls dressing up as princesses and running around believing that flowy dresses, beauty, and a prince to save you are all that a girl really needs. Any of you who know me well will know that pushes pretty much every one of my buttons.

Starting back in preschool, when my tiny, trusting daughter was told by some classmates that princesses couldn't be brown, I've been on a campaign to deconstruct the traditional idea of a princess and thoroughly brainwash her with the idea that being pretty means nothing compared to being nice and helping people. Sure, there are princesses, but contrary to what you might read in the story books, they actually *do* something helpful, like try to rid the world of landmines, not just lie around on a mattress waiting to be kissed. (parents: make sure to read your daughter the book "Princess Grace" by Mary Hoffman... nice message)

She dressed up as a princess for her very first halloween (around the time we read that book after those little snits told her she couldn't be a princess because she was brown). This past halloween, she didn't want to dress up at all. And given her disinterest in the dress-up birthday party last summer, I was all ready to forego the enrichment class. And then one of the kindergarten moms started rallying the others to get their girls involved. (The fact that it was just the girls was my first alert) Tizita would really benefit from more 'bonding time' with kids at school, so suddenly I was faced with the decision of leaving her out of a community building event, or putting her square in the middle of a group of princesses, perhaps reinforcing the whole "let's just wait around to get kissed and all of our problems will be solved" mentality. I called and talked to the director about my concerns and she assured me that the environment was open enough for the kids to be whatever they want. Okay, I decided, she can try it for one week.

When I picked her up yesterday, I nervously asked her what she'd been at her Magical Dress Up hour. She got very excited and told me that she'd been a Volcano That Can Make Things Disappear FOREVER. My first thought was (of course) COOL! They really did let her be anything she wanted! And then I thought about it... I don't even know if she knows what a volcano *is*. Maybe the teacher willfully steered her into this role so I'd sign her up for the class. When pressed, though, she described that all the other girls had dressed as princesses, fairies, 'sisters' and other girly stuff, and that she knew the minute the teacher asked that she wanted to dress as a volcano. Apparently, my little pink-wearing six year old fashioned a volcano costume out of a black dress with a bright red scarf that she tied around her head and let hang down like the flowing lava! I vacillated between excitement and distrust for several minutes until I realized the therapeutic symbolism behind it all. Her entire previous life had disappeared forever. Here she was trying to become like the big powerful force that erased all she had known. SO cool. Then, of course, there's the follow-up thought that maybe she's under too much pressure and she might 'blow' at any minute... ah, second-guessing. It's a great hobby of mine.)

Yes, I signed her up for the rest of the 8 weeks.

My second anecdote is unrelated... (I think!)
Today, I swapped a few emails with her awesome teacher, and learned at about 2:00 that Tizita wasn't feeling very well... "tired and a little puffy-eyed" was how she was described. I decided to pick her up and bring her home to rest for the afternoon, instead of sending her to the after-school program. The girl had 103 degree fever! In two years, this is her first 'real' illness, and the way she carries herself, I'd have never guessed it myself. Her life experience has given her no personal vocabulary for things like 'headache' or 'stomach ache' or even 'sore throat'... And why would it? In Ethiopia, there is no ready access to medications for such things, and given the hard scrabble life there, there would really be no opportunity for downtime, so there would be no benefit to complaining about how she felt. As a result, she really doesn't articulate when she's feeling abnormal. She is an incredible trooper, and I'm glad that she's starting to recognize -- and feel comfortable telling someone -- when she feels funky.

The final note I'll make today, again, with prospective adoptive parents in mind, is about her progress reports at school. This school does a phenomenal job of anecdotally detailing progress and areas to work on. And while we were incredibly proud and impressed by her lightning-quick acquisition of English when she came home, folks who are considering "older child" adoption should know that deficits and academic difficulties can be very hard to notice until someone with an experienced, keen eye really pays attention. She is a sharp girl, and she will catch up, but ESL students can take 3-5 years to really get there, so be prepared for a long haul and don't just assume that because your kid has great coping mechanisms and can easily fly under the radar, that s/he won't need some pretty intense homework and tutoring attention in order to achieve the same milestones. Be vigilant about their academic and cultural education. We're trying, and are very glad that we took the time to research and place her in to the right school. 'Nuf said.

Good night... pix sometime soon.

Welcome to Oz

I tried to avoid another two month gap between postings, but then two kids, a two-week vacation, Brad’s 52^nd birthday (he claims he’s playing with a ‘full deck’ now, but I have my doubts), the holiday season, a few major snowstorms in a city that has proven it cannot tolerate even ½ “, and the re-entry into school, all amid a challenging real estate market that demands our constant attention – have conspired to keep me from typing much. Oh yeah, and then there’s FaceBook, which gives immediate rewards and so therefore has become my latest online addiction.

So, a couple of months have passed. I know that most of my ‘loyal readers’ have likely moved on to other, more active and exciting blogs. Or maybe they’ve moved on to things that are actually productive, like working or volunteering or saving the world. Anyway, in these few months, all of the above has happened, plus…

- The kids have matured tremendously

- Fekadu potty-trained in about a week

- Tizita just lost one of her two front teeth (her third tooth loss, but perhaps one of the most exciting because it happened when she wasn’t expecting it and is *very* dramatic-looking)

Because of the aforementioned family vacation (to the northeast, in case you were wondering) and the snow days and the two week winter break, by New Year’s Day the Carroll-Wakeman clan had spent 4 ½ of the last 7 weeks together. We are now more deeply and enjoyably bonded than ever before and I finally feel like I’m becoming a better parent (wait until tomorrow, though, I may feel different). :) I look at my two kids, how sweetly (and as is to be expected with kids how often UNsweetly) they play together, and am deeply grateful that we chose to adopt siblings. There is *nothing* like it. They are so connected to each other, and sometimes I cannot look at them without remembering the journey they’ve taken together, and I’m so happy that they have each other in it.

Of course, I see immeasurable value in adopting a single child and trying to help a little soul who is truly alone in the world to feel that level of connection with others. I just have to express how incredibly blessed I feel to be able to see that connection, everyday, in my living room.

Then there’s the flip side, which I’ll get to via a long, winding yellow brick road of a tale...

A dear friend of ours named Floyd – a very cool elder friend, who’s an actor – decided he wanted to take Tizita to her first play for the holidays. The Wizard of Oz is playing at the local children’s theater… perfect! As we’ve been learning from Tizita’s lovely and wonderful kindergarten teacher, the areas where she can be easily left behind are those that require cultural knowledge. So we’ve decided to try to ramp up the exposure to things that will give cultural context. With this one holiday idea, we could manage Two Birds – a play, and the Wizard of Oz! I tried to acclimate Tizita to the basic story by renting the Muppets version on DVD. Baaaad. I liked that Dorothy was brown-skinned (Ashanti) but that’s about it. Toto *cannot* be a prawn, that’s just freakishly wrong (and since a muppet prawn does not look like a real prawn, it was only confusing to Tizita). And Miss Piggy’s sarcasm just didn’t fit… but I digress again. [The Bottom line is: don’t think that just because it’s The Muppets that it will be appropriate for kids. Jim Henson would roll over in his grave about that one.]

So we go to the play, and it was a really wonderful production. Very well done… great sets, wonderful costumes, terrific singing and dancing. Excellent. At the intermission (which occurs when Dorothy and her friends are headed to knock on the Wizard’s door) I ask Tizita how she likes the play. She says “I liked the beginning, but not so much the rest of it.” What?! I’m thinking… what is wrong with this kid that she likes the dusty, empty, hostile grey-brown Kansas compared to the colorful land of Oz, with it’s bright colors, funnily-dressed people, and all the hoopla!

Then it occurs to me, falling like a load of bricks onto my heart – Kansas is Ethiopia and here we are in the middle of Oz. Dorothy had the love of her family and not much else, and that was good enough for Tizita. She doesn’t need all this hoopla – people wearing funny clothes, talking in funny voices, bright colors, loud scenery, STUFF that seems silly and unnecessary. It made perfect sense to Tizita (though never to me as a child) that Dorothy would want to go *home*. And I suddenly felt so sad and inadequate... I can never give her Kansas. I’ve brought her to Oz and I have a responsibility to help her make the best of it. And, she is alone in this… Fekadu has no idea and cannot share that loss with her because he was too young. They are here together, and yet she is walking the yellow brick road by herself.

In the days since, while helping her get back into school, we’ve been singing a lot of the Wizard of Oz songs. For some reason I wake every morning singing “If I Only Had A Brain.”. Most of the day, that’s my inner soundtrack, though it’s occasionally replaced by “We Represent The Lollipop Guild”… I'll let a qualified professional work with me on that. ;)

I finally found a rental version of the original, and we watched it in two parts this week. [For the record, Fekadu calls it “The Lizzovoz”or sometimes "The Lizard of Oz"] Watching it this time with a new awareness of my daughter’s subliminal understanding was a treat. No longer did Oz seem like the cool place to be. At the end, though it was very subtle, she suddenly started sniffling as Dorothy was saying goodbye to her new friends before clicking her heels together. I wondered if she was sniffling with sadness at saying goodbye, or sniffling with joy for Dorothy that she was going to get to go home… or maybe she was wishing she could just click her heels together and wake up from this dream.

When the movie was over, she wasn’t crying or even acting moved, so maybe my theory is just a crazy wild hare. Somewhere in there, though, I believe she was feeling the conflict of being, still, in two worlds.

I don’t think I’ll ever again be able to sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, though, without thinking of Ethiopia and tearing up.

Peace to you all, and best wishes for a hope-filled and fruitful new year.

.~*~. ~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~

Okay, so this is what you’re all probably really wanting… pictures! I'm skipping right over our vacation... it just takes too long to upload things.

End of the vacation, in Buffalo.Enjoying some squirty bath toys... can't you just *hear* them squealing?

Still life, with Dad. Fekadu and Tizita 'staged' this photo while Brad was sleeping on the couch. Tizita took it.
Tizita, the way she wanted to be photographed for her school project. :)
Coldest day of the year, and Dad loves bonfires. Our first (meager) snow, too.
Snowball fight!
Snowfall number 2, and my girl
Daddy playing dead
Kids getting mischievous
MORE SNOW! Look at those piles! And this in a city that literall *shuts down* with 1/2 an inch.
Most of The 13th Avenue Posse, headed out for a walk
The boy, almost 3...
Handsome feller, eh?
My holiday elves, saying HO HO HO!
Daddy, at it again
Making faces runs in the family... Pete and Alex, going for it...
Tizita hasn't figured that out yet
There we go!
Fekadu wanted no part of it, glaring at them with disdain.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'emOur first-ever whole family portrait!
Talking to Gramma
Tizita, at the start of a new hairdo
All done!
Cute kids
Fekadu wanted 'braids' too
Tonight, snuggling together to read books in the Big Chair.
Thanks for the mittens, Gramma!

Babysitting + Soccer + Birthday!

Hey, all. I've taken many cute photos of the kiddos that I figured I should post them sometime!

I don't have much to say except that these kids are amazing and I'm so grateful to be a part of their life. Additionally, and this goes without saying, I guess, they have incredibly awesome and caring parents!!

Whoa! What a wild ride!

When I see the date of my last post, I can hardly believe it's been two months since I blogged! Crazy times! Very busy (blessedly so) with real estate work, despite the down market. Two houses and a condo prepped and listed; one house and a condo sold. Brad's had about 4 purchase deals come together, come apart, come together again. Two more listing appointments. Two buyers started and stopped. Two more active. Busy busy busy.

Tizita started kindergarten, made a smooth and wonderful transition, started to learn to spell and write on her own after just one week, played a season of soccer, and turns six this Saturday. ...Party? What party? We haven't had time to even think about it, but after the overabundance of last year, we're happy to have a (nearly) present-free birthday ahead. Her class at school celebrates by hiding and jumping out 'surprise!' and then gathering in a circle to read a book that she's brought from home to share with the class. Low-key, no frenzy of sugary treats and plasticized icons of wealth or weaponry. :) She's doing well and loves kindergarten... she never wants to come home when we go to pick her up, and she's usually singing and dancing all the way to the car when she does finally consent to come. We definitely picked the right school for her.

Fekadu has been the stable one through this time... he's the only person in the family who kept the same routine day in and day out. His vocabulary, though, has exploded, and he now says things like 'This muffin is tasty" or "Mom, I want a same cup like Tizita" or "Misu is my best friend, she my favorite" (Of course, you can fill in many names there in Misu's place... Tizita is his best friend, and so is Lily, Ezra, Cailyn, Natalie, Gracie, Daddy, Michael, Howard, Nick, Sage (aka Shaghe) and sometimes Mommy. He's an enormous little man with an incredible personality... When he attended his first soccer game as a little brother on the sidelines, he started a pickup game on the side with a bunch of older boys. Seriously, he started it, and the older boys got such a hoot out of him that when another boy came up and tried to kick the ball away from him, the older boys surrounded the poor first grader and said "give the little dude his ball back!" He's a hoot, and just what I need when I get too serious sometimes.

Here are some highlight photos from the last two months... I'll make a few notes along the way.

The last night of life BK (before kindergarten). It was a gorgeous summer evening and Tizita rode her bike and I pulled Fekadu in the wagon up to her old school playground to play.

Fekadu *loves* the wagonTizita loves her bike. And wearing shorts, which she can no longer do now that it is freakin' *cold* here! Strange to look at these pictures and realize how quickly the weather has changed, along with everything else!
Did I mention that Fekadu loves the wagon?
Tizita can now climb by herself and hang upside down. I like her braids this way... :)
Fekadu thinks he can hang upside down, too. He likes nothing better than to copy, item by item, every single thing his big sister says or does.
She is really good on the monkey bars now, and the rings. She worked this baby from one end to the other, swinging along like a total pro.
A First Day of Kindergarten Photo was too much drama for the day, so here's a Second Day of Kindergarten Photo... just for you, Gramma. :)
She spent her first (3 on 3) soccer game hanging back, nervously chewing on her t-shirt. SO funny! Now, however, she's a monster out there, commanding the ball and driving in several goals per game. She loves it, and though it's pretty time-consuming, I'm sorry that it's coming to an end after just 8 weeks. It's such a great sport for both kids!
Our dear, dear friends Matt and Tyra and their baby Aurora (aka "Roo"). They are ever-present fans at her games and it means the world to us.
The first week of school, we went to the zoo a lot because T had only half days. One day we were there, the young female gorilla came and sat near this lady who comes to draw them all the time. She watched Tizita & Fekadu for a while too, and they were *psyched*
T's official soccer portrait. Is this girl a beauty, or what?!
We finally escaped for a family camping/mushrooming trip last weekend. A two hour drive from home, an entire day setting up camp, one night in the tent, and entire day breaking camp, and the drive home. Exhausting, but fun.

We went on one long hike to look for mushrooms. Fekadu wanted to bring his tiger suitcase.
And he did. All the way through the woods...
... to the beach...
to throw stones. I'm telling you, the kid is a hoot.
And he knows it.
Campfire talk
The obligatory still life with Fekadu
Dad's annual camping photo, where I try to hide behind the kids.
And pretty much succeed.
That brings us to this past weekend... Daddy showed the kids how to make muffins. Yes, you must zoom in on this photo to see Fekadu's flour eyebrows.
The muffins were yummy
And the chef approves
The other night I had to work late. Brad told the kids that the three of them were going to have "lots of fun" without me. :( This is what I came home to. I didn't feel so bad after all.
Finally, I'll publish my moment of embarassment for the month. Guess which one I used as deodorant a few weeks ago? Go ahead, zoom in. Blecch. But I will tell you, I did *not* get a mosquito bite that day. Don't you think Burt should invest in some package redesign?
Until next time, cheers!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Forgive me for being a bit 'verklempt' today... it's Tizita's last day at her preschool, the place and the teachers that really gave her a grounding sense of 'home' when she arrived in this country a mere 16 months ago. Click on the photo to see up close how the girl has grown and changed during that time!

Here's what Brad managed to eke out to write on a card to her wonderful teachers today. It sums it up pretty well, while just barely skimming the surface.

Katie, Lauren, Kristen & Angel,
There are no real words to describe how integral you’ve been in welcoming Tizita to her new home.

You taught her English. You helped her navigate the intricacies of 5-year old socializing. You’ve built her self esteem! You’ve encouraged her discovery of the artist she is. You’ve taught her table manners! You’ve been there, countless times, whether she thinks she needs you or not. Y ou’ve done little things we’ll never know about. You’ve listened to secret stories we’ll never hear. You’ve challenged her, taught her to write her name. You’ve made her laugh, held her when she cried (or woke up from her nap and just needed to be held), watched over her when she slept. You’ve prepared her for kindergarten — Whoa! You’ve been her rock, the foundation for her new life, and in just one year’s time!

There are no real words to describe how wonderful you’ve been and how much we’ve relied on your expertise and care. We consider you part of our family and will likely come visit now and again, because we’ll miss you so much. And please don’t hesitate to drop by our home anytime! You are always welcome — and Tizita would be thrilled to continue her relationship with you.
Thank you SO much!

We are, of course, excited for her to start kindergarten next week. It's a great new school, and one we believe will be a good fit for all of her needs. But I really must take this moment to pause and remember where she came from and where she is today, and the underpaid and overcaring young people who ushered her along (relatively thanklessly!) on that journey.

'nuf said. (Not really, but I'll leave it at that!)

So, other highlights of our crazy August include our neighborhood block party...

Can you spot my beloved husband in this picture? Yes, the block party is going on down the street to the left, and there's my sweetie, sittin' next to a pile of construction debris with a beer, flying a kite. Gotta love Mr. Random. :)

This year the kiddie ranks swelled once again. All of these kids now live on our one little block! Isn't that fantastic! Three years ago, there were three kids.
Just have to show off my fanciest cornrowing to date. It will be hard to beat this one, so I'll probably stop my hair-bragging for a while.
This is Da Man, trying to imitate the monster face on his "What R U Lookin' At?!" shirt. Nice.
Our 8th anniversary Pancake Breakfast on the Beach was a great success! The weather held, the kids had a blast and more than 70 people came by to enjoy a morning at Golden Garden's Park. Could not have done it without Alex, Eric & Pete, shown here, who helped Mama with the chow line.
Our long-distance travellers, the DiNicolas, came from Tacoma for the gig. Thanks!
Kadu, as he calls himself these days, soakin' it in.
The happy couple on the beach where we wed a short eight years ago! Our friend Naoe, who helped with photography, the chow line, and the girl-snuggling. :)
The mechanics of firepit breakfast grilling on steel beams. Veggie sausages are being cooked -- untainted -- under the iron lid. Yummmm!
And, for the final parting gift, my favorite shot of the month... Fekadu's friend Grace has been over quite a bit. Her 5 month old baby brother is very sick in the hospital, and has been for about a month. (Keep a good thought, please, as their family struggles with much uncertainty and tremendous stress.)

We've had Grace over for several playdates, and it makes Fekadu *very* happy. The kid was beside himself here, as you can tell by his electric grin.
Have a good day, and if you have kids in daycare, camp or school, shoot their teacher an extra Thank You today. They've earned it.

Ahh, Summer...

Tizita's new thing is to ask on the way home from school every day "Mom, what are we going to do tonight that's really *REALLY* fun?" The pressure! How can I possibly have something planned every night that's going to deserve a double emphasized 'really'?

Turns out, I don't really have to do anything except let the kids be themselves, and it's pretty darn fun. After dinner last night we went out to the back yard, where we have the $5 Goodwill trampoline and the $5 kiddie pool. Fekadu instantly stripped down to his birthday suit and started jumping on the trampoline, saying "Mom, I not go poopy on the trampoline". Nice. The thought hadn't even occurred to me! "Teeta" quickly joined in, and the kids alternated between the tramp and pool for about an hour, giggling and jumping and splashing. All I had to do was sit there and giggle and then realize it was a good time to run for the camera.

*Note* - - I've been cautioned that my cute little family pix don't belong on the internet, so I took them down. It's a sad day when images of kids having unbridled fun in celebration of summer has to be cause for concern. :-p

Out of touch!

I can't believe that the date of my last post was SIX weeks ago! I'm a lame-o blogger these days. Guess that's because I've been a busy real estate agent which -- in this market -- is a really good thing! So, no complaints, y'all. We've got to keep food on the table so our gorgeous kids can continue to grow like weeds.

So much has happened with the kids, too, but we'll just take it chronologically, I guess. First, Gramma sent them these "Fresh from the Farm" t-shirts... and even though Tizita & Fekadu don't quite understand that there are different meanings for the word "fresh" they seem to know that these shirts fit them to a 't'.
Here's dear Petey, who turned 21 around this time, back in late June. Go Pete!
For Father's Day, we had the crew down at the beach for a pancake breakfast... Brad dug a booth seat into the sand and set a table down into it so we all had built-in seats. It was cool. This picture is especially funny if you zoom in and see the look on Fekadu's face. It looks like space aliens have control of his brain. Sometimes I wonder... he is 2 1/2. :)
Pete hoisting the young'uns. They still look small here. They literally have grown about an inch in the last month. Honest. I measured. Fekadu is now about the size that Tizita was when they came home a year and a half ago -- about 3 feet tall, almost 40 pounds. The kid's a tank. Tizita too... she now towers over the new kids entering her preschool, though she doesn't weigh all that much more. It's just gone from her belly to her long bones. I'm getting more skilled at the hairdos, too... these are my cornrows now! I still can't bring myself to do her whole head, which would probably take 4-5 hours. But she loves having her bangs done that way and then we twist the rest, which is considerably faster. Her hair is growing really fast too!
I just love this picture of 'little baby' Star. She's such a funny girl... and very... well, Chicken! She's afraid of pretty much everything. In the background is her old friend Moon, just before I drove him to his new farm.

Here's Moon on delivery day with his new family! See, folks? I really did find a nice place in the country for him to go to!
Here he is in his new coop with his flock of babes and his young attendant. The family emailed me recently and said "He has filled the spot we needed to complete our farm." How cool is that?!
Oh, and he's GORGEOUS now too... it's not just kids who grow fast!
T&F went to a birthday party together recently, and there were a few great photos taken...

Fekadu's "bobbum" and thighs crack me up. Here he's coming to help cook the oatmeal.
Tizita lost her first tooth! And her second, but I only got a picture of the first one. So exciting!
The kids have a favorite Ethiopian song they sing that goes something like:

[Insert someone's name] Bage-bay way skapto (skapta for a girl)

Ah see yo lay lay mo

Eh Ma MA!

(Repeat with a new name)

I have no idea what it means, though Tizita once tried to explain it to me... something about a mother and baby, I think. Anyway, they can (and do!) sing it over and over and over again about all of their friends in the neighborhood and all of the people they know. When they're bored or bothered or directionless, I need only sing a friend's name and they'll both chime in and finish the song with claps and great smiles on their faces. This was one of those times. :)

Besides the photo-narrative, I'll just add a few more notes.

Fekadu's language is exploding. He's constantly got new words that he's picked up by repeating everything anyone ever says as if it was his own thought, complete with facial expressions and hand gestures. He's a great mimic of body language, and it's pretty hard not to laugh. Perhaps even funnier now, is that he's coming up with his own independent thoughts. I finally know what's on my 2 1/2 year old's mind, and it's usuall something like "Peter, I like you hat" or "Michael is my best friend" (Michael is the cat who hates him). Today, he decided to tell me this about Misu (our other cat who really *is* his best friend) "Mom... Mom, Misu run away. She no live here my house any more. She go new house with chicken." He was laughing when he said it, and she actually was sitting right next to him at the time. It's been more than a month since we brought Moon the chicken to his new house, but he's obviously been percolatingon it all this time and he's now got the words to put with his imagination. Funny kid, and still a big charmer with that killer smile of his.

Tizita officially graduated from preschool in June (bad photos, unfortunately) but is still attending the summer session as she prepares for kindergarten this fall. She's clearly pretty nervous about the transition and has been pretty emotional lately. She's very talented as an artist, making cool color patterns with all sorts of different media. She also has a really good heart... Two of our neighbor girls were having a craft sale, so she took $1 out of the 'spend' part of her bank, and $1 out of the 'share' part of her bank... she gave the share dollar to Fekadu to spend and then used her dollar to buy a birthday present for a friend of hers. She's not completely altruistic, mind you... she was given a free sparkly lip gloss, so that beats a bottle of bubbles anyday, don't you think?

Finally, an anecdote that I've been meaning to post for a long time. Brad & I went to a fundraiser a couple of months ago that featured a performance by an elementary school choir from one of the more racially-mixed schools in the district. It was fun to watch all the girls singing and we both got a little teary-eyed at how sweet and innocent it all was. It reminded me (and I'm sure Brad, too) of when we used to watch his daughter Alex sing with the Seattle Girls Choir years ago. But it was only later, on the way home, that Brad said something about fascinated he was at how his 'visual preference' had shifted. That even though there was an adorable red-haired, fair-skinned girl in the front row who was very animated with her singing, we were both much more focused on the brown children to really pay attention to her. It's one of those cool things that has arisen out of parenting this beautiful kids... opening up a world that I never really seen before, even though it was right in front of me, and making it my own.

Good night.

Equal time...

I don't think I've ever shown you pictures of our two older hens, and it's only fair that I do since they've been with us for several years, are very beautiful (in their chicken-like way), are fun to hang out with (really! they're fun!), and have blessed us with their yummy eggs for a couple of years now. Well actually, it's only Miss Penny Lu who's been laying for us for the last year or two. The grand dame Duchess McDoodleberry has long since decided that laying eggs was a waste of time if she couldn't hatch them, and so has personally redefined her role to be the Layer's Gossipy Companion, announcing at full volume any time Penny goes in to do her business.

Here they are, Duchess is on the left (the photo does not do justice to her beautiful green iridescent sheen) and Penny Lu is on the right.
You really must zoom in to see how lovely (and at the same time somehow funny looking) they both are. Until recently, Penny Lu has been a mystery-chick of unknown breed, but a local chicken expert has evaluated these very photos and given me the opinion that she may well be what is called a Partridge Plymouth Rock. Duch is a Black Australorp.
Anway, enjoy these photos of our girls. In a week or two, once they start beating up in earnest on our baby Star, I won't be so generous in my praise of them. Of course, they'll just be doing what comes naturally, but given that they were both the completely submissive bottom of the heap when they joined the flock, it's kind of sad to see them turn from the abused to the abusers, and to have no mercy on the weaker. I guess in the chicken world, there's no such thing as "turning the other wattle" ;)

Long overdue -- pix!

Hiya! There's been 'nuff soap-boxin' around here lately, and it's time to get to some of the good stuff -- pictures of the fam!

First off, though, a bit of sad news. Seems the baby 'hen' chicks I hand selected some 12 weeks ago weren't both HENS after all! Little baby Moon, the black and white one here, is now trying to crow, though quite feebly, I must say. But after I sent this picture and a few others to a local chicken expert, he said there's no doubt that she is a HE. I'm sorry, little MooMooon (as Fekadu says) but you're going to have to go to a nice farm in the country! Honest... I found a nice farm in the country for him to go to, I just have to find the time this week to drive the three hours to drop him off! His little pal, Star, is going to be very sad to see him go, though. They're inseparable, and once she doesn't have his shadow to hide behind, she's going to be set firmly at the bottom of the pecking order of the other two birds and get picked on. Poor little Star. That's exactly why we got two this time, instead of one, so at least they'd have each other. Sometimes Nature is no fun!
Here's a sweet picture that Tizita drew of Moon with his new family for me to give to them. How could you not be so touched by that picture that you would swear NEVER to eat him! (...of course the matriarch there looks a little diabolical, don't you think?) Our dear nephew Nathan visited this weekend from Texas, enroute to a wedding in Oregon. The kids had met him before and had a blast having him visit.
Had to grab the camera for this one... Fekadu and his buddy Misu. As is usually the sequence, Misu was chillin' out, minding her own business and Fekadu comes up and gets all in her face. This time, he paused in her very same position just long enough for a snap of the camera before he irritated her so much that she bit him and sent him screaming. The girl has her limits! And she really does make them well known beforehand, he just can't stop bothering her because he loves her so much that he just HAS to try to sit on her... again and again and again. Tonight she sunk her four canines right into the chunk of his thigh. Nice little pattern there, like a sabertooth tiger in the meat of an elephant leg. He screams more at his perceived injustice than the pain, and when I ask him point blank if he was bothering her, he says "yes, I bothering her." But they're still buds.
Finally, a warm day! Well not really, but the sun came out for about an hour, so neighbor Lily came over with her Crazy Daisy sprinkler and the kids got all crazy in the yard. :)

The 'do' I did today in T's hair. I'm gettin' GOOD. Now the trick is to learn how to do larger 'dos that don't take so long!
Yep, got the cornrows and twists AND beads in this time...
The girl is happy because...
Lily pointed out that one of her teeth is loose! Yes, that one. It's her first loose tooth! And once she learned about the tooth fairy from Lily, she started workin' on it. That baby will be OUT by the end of the week, I'm sure. I'll miss it, though, because she has the sweetest little white teeth! :)
Okay, better get this posted and get to BED. G'night, y'all!

Whoa

I found these videos more expertly posted on Katy's blog, but check them out, they're very moving. I admit, though, that I know nothing (yet) about the effectiveness of the program behind it.

Another note about CARRY 5

From the Water 1st page about the event:

Living here in Seattle, it can be hard to relate to the experiences of people living in poverty. However, when it comes down to it, we all want to work hard to create a better life for ourselves and our children. Thank you for participating in this event and trying to understand what its like to carry water, and for giving mothers and fathers the ability to create a better life for their children, and their children's children and beyond.

The world water crisis does not exist because there is not enough water on Earth, or enough money on Earth. We have the resources right now to meet the basic needs of everyone. But it will take each of us contributing what we can, doing what we can to make a change, to end the daily walk for water.

And, a note, Tizita & Fekadu's Team was one of the top five fundraising teams for the event, with $2577.55 raised to date! It's not too late to donate, either! The giving page will be open for another few weeks, so spread the word!

S.U.C.C.E.S.S!

Super turn-out
Unpredictable weather
Cheery folk
Can't believe how heavy it is
Everyone tried it
Serendipitous connections
Seriously Successful Event!


The CARRY 5 Walk for Water was today... it was overcast with little sprinkles as we set up, and then the sky proceeded to tempt us with blue sky in the distance but sprinkly rains for the entire afternoon.


There were HUNDREDS of people there -- something like 400 walkers? I'll have to check the Water 1st website later tonight to find out the official numbers.


I was SO psyched by the team of "Tizita & Fekadu" supporters who were there: Rochelle, Stephanie, and Cat (with Jordan) from the Lake & Company office; Friends Lara, Mary & Julian, Matt, Tyra & baby Aurora; splendiforous volunteers Amanda & Suzanne; and the Ethiopian playgroup Stewart clan. So cool! The number of 'small world' connections became really crazy as I saw many people I know from various segments of my life all in one place unexpectedly -- the family whose name I forget from Fekadu's gymnastics class; Michelle and her 'open water' swim club who SWAM in the cold cold water instead of walking; other families with Ethiopian children who just happen to know people that I know; Barb and her daughter who attend the school where Tizita will begin kindergarten next fall...

When the time came to finally fill the 5 gallon container and set out on the trail, each of us on the walk team took a turn. It was really eye opening to carry that heavy a load in the first place, but the distance was -- quite literally -- staggering. To imagine doing that journey three times a day, in bare feet, over rugged terrain was very moving for all of us.


In the end, Water 1st was caught by surprise -- FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS was raised! They had hoped for $10,000. It was amazing!


The event unfortunately had to disband quickly because in another part of the park a teen girl had gone missing, so the police cleared the area and made everyone leave so they could conduct their search. We believe she was found shortly thereafter, as someone matching her description was seen talking to police, and they soon called off their cruisers and patrol boats and left us to clean up in peace.


Many, Many Thanks to the Tizita & Fekadu Team supporters. Your contributions landed us as one of the top five fundraising teams of the event! You all rock, you really do!


Here are some pics, for your enjoyment... Again, THANKS!


A rare shot of Daddy and T... Jordan 'helping' me fill the jug :)
Now, for the glamour shots! (Unfortunately not pictured: Mary & Julian!)
Our Lake & Company Team...
Ms. Righi, The Queen was there to volunteer...
Amanda, volunteer extraordinaire! She and Suzanne cheered us on at the half-way point.
Cat was brave enough to carry the jug first!
Tizita & Jordan were the joyful cheering squad :)
Then me! That jug is HEAVY
Rochelle was next...

Then Stephanie...
Here's Tyra & Aurora, routin' us on!
Go Lara!
And last, but certainly not least, Matt brought 'er home for us.
PHEW! Hope to see you all next year! Thanks again!

Stuff...

The big CARRY 5 walk is coming up on Saturday! I'm excited to try to carry 5 gallons of water, and have been 'buoyed' by all the wonderful support I've received through donations, kind words, and those who've volunteered to walk with me -- Rochelle, Stephanie, Cat, Colleen, Mary & Julian! I'll look forward to posting some photos after it's finished.

A shout out to Katy, who may not be reading this blog anymore because after 13.5 months of waiting for a referral of adoptive siblings from Ethiopia, one under age 6, one under a year (like our kiddlies), she and her husband were matched with 6 week old twin girls instead! Life is crazy and unpredictable and I've been thinking of you a lot, girl. Best wishes to you all for a fast travel date to pick up your babies! We'll miss you around here.

A few tidbits that I want to share...

There is, as mentioned in the last post, a newly emerging famine in Ethiopia. The edges of it appear to be creeping toward where Tizita & Fekadu's birth family are. Please do what you can to help curb it. I've heard good things about the on-the-ground relief work done by CRS but there are other agencies working there as well, and help is urgently needed to try to prevent the deaths of thousands of young, undernourished kids.

There was also a recent bombing of a minibus taxi in Addis Ababa -- a random act of terrorism believed to have its roots in the Eritrean conflict. And in this small world of ours, with 'only' a handful of victims, it turns out that one of them is the husband of my friend's son's school teacher, and happened to be a world-renowned elephant researcher as well. Such a waste, and yet another indicator that we who live lives of privilege can reach beyond and do something to affect change for other people.
http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/1,7340,L-3546549,00.html

Finally, this short film was brought to my attention. It's part of a series of documentaries about the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Ethiopia by Dorothy Fadiman. It's 20 minutes long, but the sights and sounds of Ethiopia ring throughout the stories of these beautiful children and the loving people who've reached beyond their own lives to try to make a difference in theirs. Cheers,

Funny... not funny...

The way the kids dress themselves in the morning sometimes is truly priceless. This quote from Erma Bombeck cracked me up:

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.

On a more sobering note, you may or may not know that there is a new famine in Ethiopia...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/05/20/ethiopia.children/

As if these people need any more challenges.

Until next Saturday's CARRY 5 walk, I'm focusing my fundraising efforts on fulfilling my $2500 goal for clean water and sanitation projects in Ethiopia, which go a long way toward stemming the tide of premature parental and child death there. I'm so close! Click here if you'd like to help: http://www.firstgiving.com/teamnancy

More photos soon. Until then, take care.

Mother's Day

It is Mother's Day... my first 'real' one, too. Last year doesn't really count in my book and I'll 'fess up as to why: I was terrified of the children! :) Last year at this time, Tizita & Fekadu had only been home with us for about a month. Tizita still didn't speak much English. Fekadu was on a bottle every couple of hours and I still hadn't mastered the whole "diapering a screaming, squirming, willful and STRONG baby" yet. Brad had an unexpected real estate Open House to hold on Mother's Day and it looked like he was going to leave me ALONE (and defenseless!) with the kids. I had a complete melt down of fear! I was really just terrified of being left with the kids for 4 hours on my own. So I opted to do the open house myself and try to enjoy the solitude while weathering the guilt.

What a difference a year makes! Nowadays, I more often feel like that lady from the commercial 35(?) years ago -- yes, I'm dating myself -- who sang "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan..." Case in point, yesterday I got the kids ready and took them both to gymnastics class without any tantrums. They snacked, they cleaned up, they played, and then Fekadu napped -- all (virtually) without hassle. Then, while he was snoozing, I washed and styled T's hair for the second time. Mind you, the last time I did her hair it took EIGHT hours. This time, just over TWO. I rock! :) Brad came home from work tired and I made a yummy dinner for all. On Thursday, I worked all day, then picked up the kids from school, cooked dinner, did laundry, cleaned out the chicken box and kitty litter and got them all to bed with 6 positive and multi-racial books read. Again, I rocked it.

But then, I think of my own dear Ma doing that day and and day out with FOUR of us monsters, all under the age of six. We moms these days think we deserve kudos (and we do!) for doing what our own mothers really had no choice about. AND, there was no daycare. My mom really *was* home with us all day while my dad was away at work 10+ hours a day. And despite a few accusations that get flung her way about how something we do as adults is all because of our rearing, the fact that we all made it to adulthood is pretty darn remarkable. Good on ya, Mom! Thanks!

Anyway, here are a few photos, as promised long ago. Enjoy!

T's new 'do. Not bad, if I do say so myself. And I'm glad she's darn easy to please. And gorgeous. Being a gorgeous girl certainly helps her pull it off.

My Mother's Day gift from Tizita, hand-made (from a grocery bag) wrapping paper and all. This is truly gorgeous in person... the colors are amazing

My mom's day card from Dadu, with a little help from the teachers

At the petting zoo...

Dadu and his best buddy Ezra, visiting the goats. All was well until the goat tried to nibble F's boots and then the terror and indignance set in.
Lookit! A baby cow!

Fekadu feeding the baby cow a 'bah-bo"
Nice pic of Dadu at the farm
Ezra holding a baby chick with F and Sophia (somewhat fearfully) looking on
Checkin' out the baby chicks with Grace and Enrique
Latest updates: Fekadu went to the doctor this week, and all is well. She is really impressed by his growth. She said most kids grow about 5cm per year, and he's grown 16 since he's been home! He went from being in the .3 percentile (yes, less than 1) to the 97th percentile for weight! That's my boy!

He's been talking up a storm now too, and has some new words. A few weeks ago he went from saying Teeta for Tizita to saying Teeteeta. Then it turned into Teeteeteeta. Now it's back to Teeteeta. In the category of "Sorry to See It Go," he stopped calling himself Dadu this week, and started saying "Pickadu." He can be understood most days, and his absolute favorite thing to do in all the world right now is ride the bus. He talks about waiting for the bus and "on it, bus, pees" nearly every waking hour. Poor kid, being denied constant public transportation.

Tizita is gearing up for, and excited about kindergarten next year. She's writing most of the letters and wrote "I love mommy" in such a way that I could actually read it without having to ask her what it said. Go Tizita! At gymnastics, she went on the high balance beam all by herself, and even told the coach to "let go!" We're noticing a definite affinity that guests have to talk about how cute and what a wonder Fekadu is, so we're trying hard to keep some attention on the dear girl despite her tactics to get attention by acting quiet and pathetic. She's so NOT that!

That's it for now. I'm cooking a scrumptious fancy meal for my Mother's Day din and must get back at it: slow-roasted salmon with spring herbs, cream of tomato risotto and lemon mousse with berries. Until my next meltdown, Go Me! :)

PS, the CARRY 5 Walk fundraising is going amazingly well. Thank you SO much to those who've contributed. It's awesome! There's still time, too... if you haven't pledged, click here... any amount is appreciated!

So much to blog about, so little time!

This will have to be the first of several posts, as there's a bunch that I want to tell you about but I don't have much time, and the photos don't seem to be uploading properly to blogger right now. (Fekadu's class trip to the petting zoo, and a picture of my beautiful new bracelet will have to wait!)

Anyway, the Water 1st, Beer 2nd fundraiser was the other night, and it was AWESOME! I had about 20 friends there, out of the 300 plus in attendance. It was fun and very successful -- they surpassed their expectations for the event and raised $30,000! Here's a link to their summary:
http://www.water1st.org/news/water1st_beer2nd_2008.html

On a related note, the journalists who were with us in Ethiopia have published a number of great stories in various media outlets. I went on their website the other day and found this article that I thought was really good. It addresses the dire nature of the water situation, the fact that humanitarian aid and environmental work are one and the same in Africa, and the fact that the true story behind the story will likely never really be told in the press because our media is 'tired' of stories about Africa that make the problems seem hopeless. This a really good perspective piece from a team of real people, (real NICE people!) who've been living there for three months to try to find avenues to bring this story out into the open. Check it out:
http://clpmag.org/content/contentpages/2008/blogs/alex/Stonehill_OffTheRecord.php

Next up, this story about beach debris that I found shocking and sad. Tizita often asks me why I pick up garbage when walking with her. This is why. Imagine how much cleaner our world would be if everyone *picked up* a little garbage instead of dropping it! Go ahead, pick up some litter the next time you're out. Particularly if you live near a beach!

Then, I want to point your attention to these two great blogs. I love reading what these adoptive mommies-in-waiting have to say. They're smart, thoughtful, and funny as heck, so if you like reading blogs, be sure to check these out. If you're not laughing after the first few posts, you should go see a doctor.
http://straightmagic.blogspot.com/
http://fullyoperationalbattlestation.com/

WHY YOU ALLUPIN MY KOOL-AID WHEN YOU AIN EVEN KNOW THE FLAYVAH!!!

Finally, yesterday was the day of reckoning when I had to style Tizita's hair for the first time! Fortunately, a friend from her preschool has a really nice mom who offered to help me learn. We had a six hour playdate (yes, SIX! plus two at our house!) during which we took out T's old braids, combed out her hair, washed it, and then I sectioned and twisted it. It didn't look so hot until we 'charmed it up' by adding a bunch of clips, barrettes and beads. Fortunately, Tizita is all about shiny, fancy adornments, so she's pretty happy with her new do. Here it is!

Please send me good juju that this 'do will last at least a couple of weeks, and that it's not as much of a challenge the next time!

Learning to do her hair reminded me of my mother trying to help me knit and I would get so frustrated that I'd (literally!) kick and scream and throw the needles and yard across the room. This was not when I was a child... this was when I was in my 30's! The special added dimension of challenge yesterday (besides the curly curly hair with a mind of its own) was that I wanted to kick and scream and throw the comb (but not the ever-patient girl!) across the room, but these hair sessions are supposed to be all about positive feedback and self-esteem building comments like "I just *love* doing your hair, honey, it's so much fun and it looks so pretty! I can't wait until I get to do it again!" :) Maybe I deserve an academy award?

I'm going to Carry 5!

Hiya... I'm excited! I just signed on to a cool walk-a-thon to raise money for Water 1st. It's called Carry 5, and participants will strap a 5 gallon jerry can of water on their backs and walk 5k. Seem hard? To me, yes! But that's exactly what hundreds of millions of people -- particularly women and girls -- around the world must do 2-3 times a day in order to fetch water to meet their most basic needs. Surely I can do it once. Maybe, though, some of the local readers of this blog will want to share the burden and join my walk team to carry some of the load?

In honor of my children, their birth family, and the one billion people worldwide for whom this type of journey is a daily reality, I welcome your sponsorship and support at:

http://www.firstgiving.com/teamnancy

More event info at:
http://www.water1st.org/involved/carry5.html